Lion hunter- www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6PegwkMXQc

We met a guy who lives up the road from us, who has been coming to Eleuthera for the last 22 years.
He's called Maurice and he's from South Carolina, so his name is pronounced "Moh-reece", or just Mo or Mojo.
Anyway, Mo invited Ceri and I to grab a spear and join him on a lion hunt. The lion fish not the lion lion.

Maurice is an interesting chap, with a remarkable desire to shake things up and educate people.
The extermination of Lionfish is just one of his current projects. (You can see more at lionfishhunter.com and loads of videos on youtube- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6PegwkMXQc) He is also a fiery anti-establishmentarian, in the sense that he intensly distrusts the American government and has some interesting theories about who really controls the world. Mo is teaching himself to be self-sufficient, so that he can be as immune as possible to global financial meltdown,
and can be prepared to survive by catching fish and living off the land. He has built himself a simple wooden house surrounded by jungle and small soil patches to grow vegetables.

Maurice doesnt do things by half. When he was 22 years old, he became a radical christian and would yell fire and brimstone from a megaphone and tell people they were going to hell. He decided to be celibate for 8 years and once fasted for 22 days!! He isnt a Christain anymore, but he still has the same energy and passion for what he believes in, which among other things, is that all lionfish in the Bahamas must die.

So, back to the lionfish. Maurice told us that the lionfish is not native to the Bahamas. In fact the Lionfish, is alien to the whole Atlantic ocean but somehow in the recent past it has been artifically introduced to the Bahamas seas. One theory is that people with lionfish in aquariums have simply released them into the wild. With no natural predators and a staggering rate of reproduction the lionfish population has boomed. The problem is that they eat all the other indigenous fish, and therefore seriously threaten the diversity and health of the coral reefs around here.

Fortunately, Lionfish taste good. Mo reckons they are the tastiest fish in the sea, but I think thats slight propaganda. These Americans have never tasted a proper cod, chips and mushy peas. Anyway, in the name of saving Planet Earth, and helping the beautiful reefs out here, Maurice has decided it is his duty to eat as many lionfish as possible and get as many people doing the same.

6 of us went out for the first hunt, armed with spearguns. We piled into 2 small tin boats with outboard engines and headed out into the crystal clear turquoise water. (Incidentally we passed Lenny Kravitz house- he was born on Eleuthera and often plays jam sessions at the local bar.)

The thing about spearfishing for snapper, grouper or mackeral, or most fish is that it is very, very difficult. You have to spot a fish big enough to spear, then hold your breath and dive 20, 30 or 40 feet under the water. You have to equalise your ears to prevent over-pressurizing
, and then chase down the fish, all of which can swim a lot faster than we can.
The range of the spears guns is about 6-10 feet, and the longest most divers can hold their breath and swim is about a minute. So the best tactic is to chase the fish into a corner, against a rock to get your best shot. It is not easy... even when you do hit one. Maurice,
who is an excellent spear-fisher and diver shot a 2 foot spanish mackeral last week.
The spear went straight through the fish and out the other side. The fish simply swam away with Mo's spear- he chased for 100 metres but the fish managed to dislodge the 3 foot spear and escape to freedom.

Spearing lionfish, thankfully, is entirely different. Its a piece of cake due to this amazing fact:
A fish with no natural predators shows no fear, and makes no effort to hide. While every other fish on the reef scuttles between rocks and coral, always looking for shelter, Lionfish sit smugly at the bottom of the ocean, fluttering their spiky manes, ruling over their conquered reefs.
Nothing demostrated more the fact that they do not belong in these seas, than their complete fearlessness of being eaten.

Well, times are a-changin' Mr Lionfish! We speared 17 lionfish in 2 hours. I managed to get 2 of the biggest ones, by spotting them first, diving down to about 3 feet from the fish, and shooting my spear through their fat body. They do not flinch or move a muscle. One of the fish even gave me second shot, after I missed with the first. Our friend Joey managed to get stung. He has only himself to blame. When you spear a lionfish, you make sure you keep the wriggling body as far away from you as possible.
The venom on their spikes results in extremely painful stings. Joey speared a lionfish, swam for the surface with his spear outstretched, fat lionfish writhing on its end. "Theres 2 more down here" yells Joey, as the lionfish slides down the spear which he is clutching vertically above his head. "AAAAAAArrrrrhhh!!!!" The pain is severe and scalding hot water the only remedy.

Once back on land, Maurice gave a demonstration on how to prepare the fish for eating. Have a look on You tube for this- just type in "lionfish hunter".
We made our lionfish into a really tasty "fish dip", a Southern dish, similar in concept to tuna mayo, but way better for our planet earth.

On the Road

Few people in the UK realise that there is anything worth studying about our gun-toting, burger-guzzling, neighbours across the pond. But in fact, America for all her faults, fallacies and fatness is a fascinating place. As holder of a degree in American Studies, I am qualified to do very little, so it was with great satisfaction that Ceri and I embarked on our (mini) American Roadtrip, a subject I know something about.

As part of my American studies degree, I wrote an essay on the "American Roadtrip" genre in literature and film. It is a genre as real and relevant as any in American literature, as anyone who has read John Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath", Jack Kerouac's, "On the Road" or even seen "Thelma and Louise" will know.

Americans started heading across the USA as soon as they found about the all the mind-boggling goodies in the West. First it was gold and land, and no pesky indians were going to stop them. During the Great Depression, survival, food and jobs pulled them westwards. The depression created a whole breed of men, the original hobos, who would jump on and off trains that zigzagged the nation, escaping poverty in search of opportunity and adventure.

By the 1960s, heading west was less about finding fortunes in the goldmines, planting a stake in a plot of land, or escaping famine and more about being in a place symbolic of the American Dream, ultimate freedom and opportunity. California became a magnet for musicians, hippies and surfers, and who can blame them... apart from all that symbolism crap, the place is unbelievably gorgeous, an outdoor paradise boasting redwood forests, snowcapped mountains, canyons, deserts and countless miles of Pacific coastline.

Ceri and I had 5 days, a convenient window created by badly connected flights between Cosa Rica and the Bahamas. It was only enough time to scratch the surface of Southern California's Pacific coast area, from Northern San Diego to Orange County, but enough time to whet our appetite and get us planning the Big Roadtrip. (Applications for RV guests welcome to apply. Expected dates sometime between May-July 2009. GSOH driving, cooking skills required.)

In no other place on earth do I ever want to drive a 26 foot RV. But America is all about supersize and with 7 lane highways and neighbourhood roads wider than the M1, I didnt even scrape a wing mirror! If you want an understanding of American size (and fatness) go to McDonalds, or Wendy's, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc. etc... in the USA, and take a friend. You need 2 hands just to pick up the gallon of coke you get given, without even asking for the large meal! Of course we were too refined to go to McDonalds, so this is all hearsay.

Our 26 foot RV looked like a little toy campervan next to the monsters some Americans retirees jaunt around in. You have to see one to believe it, but I'll try to describe. Imagine a full sized luxury coach, maybe 50 feet long, 10 feet wide, all tinted windowns and shiny chrome. Like some kind of Transformer robot, the side panels slide outwards to create more interior space, and a living room about 20 feet wide, laden with leather couches, wide screen TVs and full kitchens and bathrooms. Jutting out of one side will be a huge awning, giving acres of shade, and on the roof will nearly always be a satellite dish for the TV.

Within this collossal house on wheels invariably lives a couple of retired Americans (modern day Hobos?), exploring their country and living the good life. If Gordon Brown needs a solution to dwindling pensions and an aging population, he could do worse than buy a load of RVs, and one-way tickets to the USA.

This is a fact: Ceri+ 26 foot of American RV + fridge full of food + box of wine + perfect weather + good surf = FUN. Add to the mix the pleasure of surfing with dolphins in crystal clear turquoise Pacific ocean, building fires on our clifftop spot in San Clemente state Park, while watching the sunset into the Pacific and you will get an idea what an amazing time we had.

If you ever get the chance to do an American Roadtrip, DO IT!